I honestly wasn’t even aware that people actually had “dadchelor parties” until my wife was about 7 months pregnant and someone asked me what I was doing for my dadchelor party.
I’m not sure if it’s just something that people in my area do, but either way, it’s dumb, and a dadchelor party should not be a thing… at least to the extent that people around here take it. If your friends are taking you out to dinner and for a few drinks one weekend night, before you and your wife have your first kid, ok fine, I get that, but if you’re specifically planning an event, out of state, with your guy friends, because your wife is having a baby… you’re dumb.
When my wife was about 7 months pregnant with our first, I went out one night to see a friend’s band play in the city. A couple of my other friends came with me and after the concert we ended up hanging out and drinking a bit more. They bought a round of shots as a congratulations to having a baby… the end. No big fancy event, no traveling out of state, no ridiculousness amongst guys, just a round of shots and a congratulations… you know, things a normal person would do.
On the other hand, I have heard about people I went to high school with planning these elaborate dadchelor parties where a group of guys basically goes on vacation together before the person, and his wife, have their first baby. It immediately comes off as being extremely selfish since the woman is the one doing all of the work carrying the baby, but for some reason the dad thinks he should have one last fling with the guys before becoming a father… It all seemed super weird to me, until someone then explained the notion of the push gift….
So the guy gets to go on vacation with his friends while the woman sits home, super pregnant, not drinking, not eating sushi, with a baby growing inside of them. Sounds like a super unfair trade, until I was told that in lieu of getting to go on a trip, the husband is supposed to get his wife a “push gift” as a thank you for carrying the baby for the last 9-months, and letting him go on a vacation with his friends.
Seriously, when did this shit become a thing?
What is a push gift?
I had never heard of a push gift until someone asked my wife what I was getting her as a push gift, and her response reinforced exactly why I married her, “The baby is the push gift”. Exactly!
Having a baby is one of the greatest experiences in the world, and that in itself is the gift that keeps on giving. I look at my daughter every day and wonder what the hell we would be doing if she wasn’t in our lives right now. We’d be bored out of our minds I think. Sure we’d probably do a little more traveling, and go to more restaurants, but none of that compares to the joy of having, and raising, a child. At least in my opinion.
So I had never even considered having a dadchelor party, and my wife never even considered the fact that I would have to get her a push gift. It’s things like this that make me realize why American’s are looked at in the way we are; this is just frivolous shit that nobody needs.
We’re expecting Thing Two towards the end of this year and I can tell you right now, I will not be taking a trip with my friends before the kid is born, and my wife will not be expecting a push gift. If you have an excess amount of money, and both parties are cool with doing these things, great, that’s your prerogative, but it just seems pointless to me. I would rather save that money and use it towards something the kid might need down the line, or a family vacation, or something like that. It’s not like having a baby means you’ll never see you friends again, you just have to make it a point to do so. My wife and I took our infant to places all the time as we weren’t going to let having a baby change who we were.
I’m not here to persuade you one way or another in regards to having a dadchelor party, or getting a push gift, you do what you want to do, I’m just here to tell you that these aren’t things you have to do. These aren’t the norm, not everyone does this stuff, so don’t feel bad if someone asks you what you got your wife as a push gift, just tell them the baby is the push gift and leave it at that. Now, if you know you are planning to have kids, I highly recommend traveling before you guys try to get pregnant. You’re wife will appreciate not being pregnant on vacation and you will enjoy yourselves much more. Call it a babymoon, call it whatever you want, just do it before you start trying to get pregnant, you’ll both thank me in the long run.
Is anyone else as weirded out by the notion of dadchelor parties and push gifts as I am? Or am I in the minority here in thinking that these things are pointless in the grand scheme of having a child?
